Current mood:

annoyed

I checked out http://soupfiction.net/ to see if they had anything to report there. Now I wish I hadn’t. Ow, my brain is bleeding through my ears now. x_X;;

Title: Traveling Soldier (Oh dear lord, smite me now...)
Author Miscreant: VoilesDragonGurl (Anytime there is a misspelling of "girl" I know I’m in trouble)
Rating:
Spilt Piscus Juice

Character's Name: Jessie (I checked the profile, and I’m pretty sure this is the author’s real name >_<;;)
Species: Human
Hair Color: "Her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail"
Eye Color: "eyes were a bright, youthful hazel"
Special Possesions: Viole’s letters, and his HEART, AWW! *strikes a spork into the sappiness*

Annoying Origin: The café Viole goes to before heading off to be part of the Dragonslayers
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is Viole’s correspondence back home, and through the letters they fall in the love. (Just like the song goes...*rolls eyes*
Annoying Special Abilities: None
Other Annoying Traits: None that I can really distinguish....

First, let me say that I have nothing against country music, including Dixie Chicks "Traveling Soldier", even though it was played waaaaaaaayyyy too much on the radio (well, at least until that anti-Bush fiasco). But this story is a perfect example of why I stopped writing songfics; the song already has a story to it, and writing a story around it is pointless. Basically all this author did was change the lines of the song to write the story part, and she did a bad job at that too. It seems like a freaking parrot wrote this. >:-O

Also, I suppose Viole could be qualified as a canon Gary Stu, though not much as revealed to his character in the anime. Still, I doubt any of the Dragonslayers would talk like he does (i.e. USING JAPANESE!!)

Parts from first chapter(It’s a song fic *gags* so there is only one chapter):

"Dear Jessie,
Sometimes I wish that the war would just end already. What's the point to it anyway? War just leads to more war after all. *sighs* Well, you remember how I was put under the command of Dilandau Albatou, with all those other men? He's called us the Dragonslayers, pretty catchy, ne?"

"And then he promptly slapped me for using low-key Japanese!"


Jessie sighed as she tucked his latest letter under the loose floorboard under her bed. It would do no good to have her sister, brother or mother to find them, they had already tried to get her to forget the purple haired, violet eyed soldier she had fallen for.

"He's just going to break your heart," they would say. "You should pay attention to the boys your own age, not dawdle with this dream of yours." "How can you be sure that he'll even come back?"

She shook her head, clearing away the thoughts. She KNEW he would come back.

Viole: She really thinks I’m coming back? I was just messing with the girl for a laugh. The Dragonslayers and I are really on a tropical island, sipping drinks as we laugh at her pathetic letters.


Jessie looked up into the sky, her eyes glazed over with tears. Maybe she wasn't supposed to meet him in the first place; but she did. There was no way to end the heartbreak. The wind blew against her, and her bow came loose, flying away with the wind. She made no move to grab it, but she smiled sadly, "You can have it Voile, don't you dare forget me..."

Of course he’s going to forget you because he’s dead!! And you know why he died?! Because your
Sue-yness distracted him in battle!


She bowed her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks, and the wind continued to play with her hair. In her minds eye she could still see the purple haired soldier as he looked out upon the pier with her.

Ghost of Viole: Now, if there is only some way to push her OFF the pier, I could rest in peace.

I mean, it’s obvious that she has some talent that could get better, but writing fics like this doesn’t help her at all.


Dude, she also has a really bad Harry Potter Sue that I’m tempted to report to pottersues >:D